i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
only you would photoshop your dick
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
