Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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