I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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