school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
