True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
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