second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
