I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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