Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
