And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
