im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
