i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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