By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
