Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
