i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Never joke about your clitoris.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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