haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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