That's intense
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
