I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
