So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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