The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
