i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You need a sexual gate keeper
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
