Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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