so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
