ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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