Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
