Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
foreskin is a definite game changer
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
