You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
