I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
