Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
