sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
