I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
