Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
