I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You took a bar mat shot.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
