Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
May the power of my ass compel you!!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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