I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
