The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
