How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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