He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
