Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
