Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he fucked my hip out of place.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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