we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
