I hate all girls vehemently.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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