He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
