I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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