my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
