tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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