Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
