He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
