i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
