Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
