we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You can't motorboat a personality
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
